


singular obligation

by ivelostmyspectacles



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Character, Asexual Noctis Lucis Caelum, Brotherhood: Final Fantasy XV, Coming Out, Gen, Noct has good people in his life, Regis is a good dad okay, and Ignis is eternally accepting, background father-son relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 22:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/ivelostmyspectacles
Summary: “I’m ace, Iggy!” It very nearly comes out as a sob, and this time, the tears do blur his vision. He catches the look of surprise on Ignis’s face– probably from his tone, or volume, rather than the subject matter, but he doesn’t want toknowwhat crosses his face, anyway, so he turns away. Lets the words tumble out before he can stop them. "Asexual."





	singular obligation

It’s one of those dreams where you’re naked, stripped head to toe for no discernible reason other than for your pure mortification, trapped outdoors or at school or standing upon the dais before the throne.

But Noct definitely isn’t naked, and he’s not dreaming, either, so the nagging sensation that’s been annoying him all day isn’t really one of those dreams. Feels like it, though. Something’s off, but he can’t exactly tell what. It’s frustrating.

It isn’t until he absently passes the pad of his thumb along his middle finger that he notices, and he thinks his stomach drops through the bottom of the complex and straight to the center of the earth.

He looks, but he already knows before he raises his hand to; the ring on the middle finger of his right hand is gone, only the faint indent remaining a ghost in its place. Such a small thing, probably why he hadn’t _noticed_ but also why he’d felt so _naked_ the whole damn day–

It’s only then he properly starts to panic, patting along the couch cushions for where it might have fallen off. _How_ could it have fallen off? Had he taken it off and forgotten? Shit, no, he wouldn’t do that– maybe _Ignis–_

“Hey.” He thinks he startles him with his tone, but then he’s startled himself a little, too. But this was important. It is important. “Did you take my ring?”

“Your ring?” Ignis glances away from the sink. “The black band?”

“Yeah, the black one.” He’s rubbing his finger like it’s going to make it appear again, but he’s trying to stay calm and it isn’t working. “Did you take it off while I was sleeping or something?”

“No, I wouldn’t. It’s gone missing?”

“Yeah.” Now he’s _really_ starting to panic. He shoves his hand into the crevice of the couch cushions and starts pushing them to the floor.

“Noct.”

“I’m looking for it.”

“By creating more mess to have to search through.” Ignis sounds amused. He probably is. He doesn’t _know–_

“Help me look.”

“After I finish the dishes.”

“Leave them.” It’s not on the couch. Unless it’s fallen even further down the back of it, but there’s only a little wiggle room there to begin with. He crouches down to look under it, and under the table, and anywhere on the floor it might have fallen.

“Leaving them for later isn’t good practice, Noc–”

“Help me _look,”_ Noctis repeats impatiently, and this time he _knows_ his voice comes out too sharp by the way Ignis goes silent, how _stupidly_ responsive he is to anything that sounds even _remotely_ like an order–

Ignis takes up the towel, and dries his hands. “Where were you before napping on the sofa?” He doesn’t comment on the tone, like Noct figured he wouldn’t. “We’ll retrace your steps.”

“Um, the bathroom, maybe…” He glances at the stuff on the table, and the soft drink sweating a ring onto the newspaper. “No, kitchen. I grabbed that outta the fridge and came over.”

“I’ll look here, then. Were you doing anything except getting a drink? The cabinets, perhaps?”

“No.” He’d gone to nap because of being too full after Ignis’s dinner, no way he would have been in the cabinets. But those are words he doesn’t say, because the anxiety is starting to choke him. All over something as simple as a _ring._

It isn’t in the living room, or kitchen. He goes through the bathroom and lets Ignis meticulously search his bedroom. The hallway. The balcony, even though he hasn’t been out there for ages. They even search in the closet, the pantry. Nothing. Nothing. It’s dark outside, and Ignis suggests they do a deep clean tomorrow, and Noctis nearly wrings his hands and then doesn’t touch his hands instead because that reminds him he’s _missing it in the first place._

“We’ll have some time tomorrow, what with you having the day off from work–”

 _“Work,”_ Noct repeats, both in panic and in hope. What if he’d lost it at work? “I’m gonna go check at work–”

He’s already halfway to his feet when Ignis gently– but firmly– holds him back. “It’s late. They’ll be closing soon.”

“I should be able to get there before then–”

“Highness _._ We’ll call first thing in the morning–”

“No–”

_“Noctis.”_

“You don’t understand!” It’s almost a shout, and it’s something like tears of mortification that are starting to burn his eyes. He’s horrified that he can’t seem to keep it together.

“I do, however–”

“I’m ace, Iggy!” It very nearly comes out as a sob, and this time, the tears do blur his vision. He catches the look of surprise on Ignis’s face– probably from his tone, or volume, rather than the subject matter, but he doesn’t want to _know_ what crosses his face, anyway, so he turns away. Lets the words tumble out before he can stop them. “Asexual. That– That ring… when I told dad, when I… when I came out to him…” Astrals, he can still remember that day vividly. Maybe he’s forgotten what he actually _said,_ but he can remember being _terrified._ “… he didn’t know what asexuality was… hell, _I_ didn’t know for the longest time before, I just thought something was…” _wrong._ He trailed off, and scrubbed his hands against his face. “Anyway, he didn’t say anything… but then… two days later, _that_ showed up in the mail… an ace ring… you wear it on your middle finger, on your right hand, and… he didn’t know anything about it but he still found out about ace rings and actually _bought me one–”_ He sounds so ridiculous. In all of the passing thoughts about telling the guys, he hadn’t thought it would be him losing his mind over a damn piece of jewelry, but he can’t stop _talking_ now that he’s started– “I can’t– it’s the only thing that I _have,_ because I can’t just go… go _telling people_ that I’m… w–well, especially because of me and Luna, because we have to have _heirs_ in the future–”

“Noct.”

Ignis’s hand on his shoulder feels like ice, and Noct sucks in a sharp, shaking breath.

“Sorry, I’m just… being stupid.” He rubs his eyes again, and folds his arms around his knees. “Sorry.”

“You’re not being stupid.” Ignis pulls away, and Noct chances a glance at him. He doesn’t _look_ angry or anything, which he isn’t really sure he expected or anything, but… “We’ll find your ring, Noct. But in the morning,” Ignis continues firmly, and Noctis doesn’t have to strength left to try and complain. He’s exhausted, abruptly. Just wants to sleep this away. But Ignis is still talking. “I’ll call first thing in the morning, and go down to look for it so that you can sleep in. Can you trust me with that?”

“Yeah… course…” Ignis can probably do a better job at going through things with a fine-tooth comb, anyway. “Thanks…”

“It’s not a problem.”

“Like you wanted to spend your morning searching for _my_ shit at _my_ work,” he mutters, and then starts to his feet again. “I’m gonna just… go to bed. You can leave the rest of the stuff and I’ll pick it up tomorrow.” He’s done exactly what Ignis warned him about, making more of a mess, but it’s all unimportant right now. It’s a problem for the Noct of tomorrow, when his heart’s not still pounding from losing his ace ring or coming out to Ignis in one of the worst ways possible. _Tomorrow._

“I’ll tidy up before I go. I’ve still dishes to finish, after all.” A hand at his shoulder as Ignis helps him to his feet, guides him into the bedroom. “But we’ll get you tucked in first.” It’s a joke, said in the same, teasing tone Ignis always uses, but it falls flat because Noctis doesn’t feel like laughing.

He’ll play along best he can, though, because anything to get his mind off of all of this. “You don’t have to tuck me in, Specs… besides, you’ve done enough already.”

“Nonsense. How many times have I found you sprawled out atop the blankets instead of–” Ignis pulls the blankets back, and there’s a tiny, echoing sound of something small and metal hitting the hardwood. Ignis stops talking, and Noctis freezes, because maybe it’s _not_ lost forever, maybe–

He immediately sinks to the floor, knees thudding against it as he goes but that had _definitely_ had to have been the ring because there was _nothing_ else it could be short of his bed actually falling apart or something stupid like that–

“Over here.” Ignis is already near the dresser, crouching down to look for it. By the time Noct shuffles over to him, he’s already plucked the band from wherever it had bounced to, and is holding it out to him. “Aha.”

“Ah…” He almost _repeats_ him, but stops himself at the last second as he takes the ring back. Instead he _laughs,_ and feels even more stupid than he had because he’d honest-to-gods just lost his mind over something that had been in his _bed_ the whole time.

“It must have come off while you were asleep last night. Perhaps while having your hand stuck under the pillow?” Ignis guesses, and Noctis can only nod for a second before he finds his voice.

“Yeah, I guess. _Gods.”_ It feels good just to have the thing back on his finger. “I’m sorry, I panicked for… no reason, after all. Ugh…” He scrubs the heel of his hand against his forehead, the cold of the metal passing familiar against his skin. “Sorry, I was just… stressed. About all of this.”

“No harm done, Noct. I’m just glad we found it.” Ignis pauses, and there are words on the horizon. For a second, Noctis hopes Ignis won’t _say_ them, because he knows he doesn’t want to _hear_ them, but then the words tumble free like his own confession earlier. “You could have told me, you know.”

… that’s… _not_ what he’d expected. Noct shrugs a little. “I know, I just… thought you’d lecture me or something.”

The face Ignis makes immediately makes Noctis regret saying the words. “Do you think I would have?”

“Maybe…?” He wrinkles his nose. “No, not really. Just… my duty and all that… figured you’d, you know, try to remind me of that or something.” He _knows,_ deep down, Ignis would have never _said_ anything about it… never judged him or anything like that, but it’s just… “Been kinda… freaked out about all of it, you know? Didn’t think dad would be okay with it, either, but it’s… just been a lot.”

“I’ll admit I don’t know much about the asexuality spectrum, Noct, but I wouldn’t chastise you for your choice. It… may yet pose a problem for the future,” he admits shortly, “but it’s _your_ preference. No one can tell you how you feel.”

“Yeah…” He doesn’t know if this feels as awkward to Ignis as it feels to him, but Iggy really is the most accepting person he knows. Maybe he’ll tell Prompto, too, eventually, when they’re closer, if they get closer, and Gladio, too, one day. One day he’ll tell them all, probably, he’ll _have_ to. But for now… like this… he’s kinda glad it’s Ignis, after everything. It’s almost _relieving,_ the feeling of having this weight off his shoulders that he hadn’t even been aware was pressing down so hard on top of him. Now two people know. Two people he doesn’t have to hide that secret from.

He idly fidgets with the ring, twisting it around beneath his knuckle. He can’t feel the engraving against his skin, professional as it is, but he’s well aware it’s there. Has been, chosen by dad when he’d bought the ring.

_be true to yourself_

“… thanks, Iggy,” he mumbles, finally, and Ignis’s smile is only reassuring.

“Of course, Noct.”

  
  


_“Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.”_ \- Richard Bach

  


**Author's Note:**

> hello friendly neighborhood ace comes out of woodwork to write some platonic bh ignoct for ace awareness week
> 
> for someone like Noct, who can't necessarily be out the way he may want to or may eventually want to be... a black ring can just be explained away as 'yeah it's cool looking huh'... anyway... happy ace awareness week! you know Iggy'll put a whole lot of research into asexuality and eventually quietly buy Noct something with the ace colors on it and only the two of them (+ Regis, watching proudly from the background) will understand what it really means T_T


End file.
